From Fear to Freedom: A VBAC Birth Story

After my daughter’s emergency c-section birth in 2023 (meconium-stained waters, posterior position, cord wrapped around her body 4 times, fetal distress), I was earnestly seeking and praying for a VBAC with my son in 2025. I was exhausted in my first trimester and had the usual difficulty moving in the third trimester, this time with a toddler to run after! From 35 to 37 weeks pregnant, I had a horrible gastro bug and at one point even started to time the cramps that came, as they were so painful, I thought it was labour! Thankfully, it wasn’t and we made our way to the flat my parents own, in the city where I would give birth (we live quite far away from hospitals and birth centres). 

Ronan was due on the 6th of April, but for a long time, I knew he would be born by the end of March. My husband finished some work admin, appointments and tasks in the week leading up to Saturday the 29th. He was really desperate to tick those things off the list before Ronan was born (all stuff that we could only do in the city). By this point I stopped doing exercises (Miles Circuit etc.) to encourage labour to start, as it seemed my body was doing this anyway. On Wednesday night I had some false labour for 2 hours. I was really uncomfortable on Thursday and Friday, but we had time for intimacy twice in those two days, and then I went for a marvelous foot massage on Friday afternoon. We went out for dinner that night, while my mom and dad cared for our daughter. I had the most amazing seafood pasta and added quite a lot of chili to it (I don’t usually enjoy chili, but I did that night!). 

The next morning, Saturday the 29th of March 2025, my mom, husband, daughter and I went to a parkrun close by. My daughter and I tottered around the finish while my mom walked and my husband ran the parkrun. I was quite relieved when my daughter wanted to play in the car for quite a bit of our waiting time…I was super uncomfortable, and had had quite a lot of discharge/mucus plug come out that morning, much more than with my daughter’s birth. We went home and then my husband went out for some last errands of the week. My mom and I stayed home with my daughter and I tried to have a nap while she was asleep. I lay down, but didn’t sleep as I had my first tightening/mild contraction at about 2.30pm. I didn’t tell my mom, and I didn’t call my husband. I just carried on as normal. My mom and I went to the shops with my daughter (Iola) for some groceries. I’m sure Iola sensed something as she was extremely prone to loud crying and whining, even while we were in the shop. 

I needed to get something from the car, so I went to the car to get it…one door wouldn’t open, so I had to climb through the other one and over some stuff to get it. I’m sure this activity and walking around helped my labour. Every now and then I would have a tightening, but I didn’t pay much attention to the timing in between, and my mom didn’t know anything was happening. We got home at around 4pm, and then I said to her, “I’m going to go have a bath now.” “Oh!” she replied, “Does that mean something has started?” She asked this because after the false labour of Wednesday night, I told everyone that if it happens again, the midwife advised I have a warm bath, take two panados, and if it continues after that, then it’s real labour. By then, my husband returned and I told him too. He was a little shocked. But I had my bath, while listening to the Christian Hypnobirthing tracks. By 5pm-ish, I was done and the tightenings had continued and become ever so slightly more intense, but I was still walking, talking and managing without anyone knowing when the next one was coming. 

My husband then bathed our daughter, and she was very very upset. And then this brought out some tension between my husband and I…which was good, because we resolved it quickly. It’s quite a big thing for the partner, who isn’t pregnant and feeling all the associated feelings, he needed to come to terms with the fact that this really was happening. He did, and then was packing and sorting to ensure everything was ready. This included our labelled snack bags…during my daughter’s birth, we needed a lot of sustenance because it was 21 hours of labour, and then the c-section, so that was our reference point. My husband’s snack bag for this birth included energy drinks (which he rarely consumes) and very substantial snacks (note this for later), he wanted to be sure he was energised enough to be there for me.

We had dinner at around 6pm. My mom made the most wonderful rice and chicken meal. It was plain and simple and I was full and energised afterwards. While sitting at dinner, I had a few more contractions, but still not very intense at all. I was quite conscious of trying not to ‘scare’ my mom, or daughter. So I stayed as calm as possible, and I think this really helped. My husband and I put our daughter to bed, and it was the most difficult good night ever. She was extremely upset and tired, and at one point I was laying on the floor next to her little toddler travel bed, trying to be with her and calm her. Again, I’m sure all this movement helped my labour. As soon as we said good night, and closed the door at 19.00, my body was like, “Oooh! No more needs of the other child to attend to, RAMP UP!” It was incredible, I really marvelled at how hard and fast the contractions came after we said goodnight to Iola. 

This next bit is probably from about 7pm to 8.15pm. I put one earphone in and was listening to the tracks again, while opening up the timer app, and Whatsapp to communicate with my doula and midwife. I had my birth combs, and LOVED using them. I leaned on my forearms on the kitchen counter during a contraction and squeezed the birth combs. I also did deep breathing and swaying. Then in between, I was sending messages to our birth group to decide when to go in to the birth centre. Kyle was packing the car, and trying to do what he could, while also telling me to tell him when I needed him. In between running around when there was a contraction, he squeezed my hips, which was amazing. My mom was busying herself with her night routine, and was amazing at continuing “as normal”, even though I knew inside she was probably a lot more tense. My dad was at work, which was for the best. My doula had just returned home, showered and was in her bed, after a full marathon, when I phoned her, and she listened to me on the phone. I didn’t know this at the time, but her husband could hear the call, and said to his doula wife, “She needs to go to the birth centre now.” Haha. 

My midwife had asked at 7pm-ish if I was feeling any pressure in my bum, and I had said no. But I did start to feel some, or what I thought was some, sometime between 7.30pm and 8pm. I was holding back a little on leaving to go to the birth centre because we arrived there super early with my daughter’s birth and I had a very long way to go. But, all of a sudden, I said, OK, let’s go. And so the midwife got onto calling the birth centre for them to reserve a room. We would all meet there. So with everything packed, my earphone case tightly in hand with birth combs, I stepped out of the flat. I waited for a contraction to be over and then walked as quickly as I could down the first two thirds of the stairs to a little landing. The railing was the perfect height to then have another contraction before going down the rest of the stairs and to the car. My husband said he was ready, I waited to have one more before getting in… and I was dreading being in the car. My husband faffed with the map app and put the address in, and I was super uncomfortable. My mom was waiting at the main gate to let us out. We drove around and to the gate, where I waved with a big smile and an “I love you” so that she would see me happy and be reassured. Again, this was very helpful for me! We got to a traffic light, and it was red for us, my husband had crept a little too far forward and someone hooted at us. It was a good thing to happen early in the journey, for us to accept that we would get there when we got there, and not try and rush. It was about 8.30pm and dark, which made for difficulty seeing where to turn, but there was no traffic which meant the journey was shorter! 30 minutes. My husband very sweetly told me he was going to tell me about his errands, so that he could distract me. Fortunately I only had one contraction the whole journey! This, after having them almost every 1.5 to 2 minutes at the flat! He nearly missed an important turn off, but didn’t! 

We arrived at the birth centre, and parked. I got out and waited at the car through another contraction at the back of the car, holding onto the step. I asked my husband if he was going to get the bags. He said he would bring my bag that I needed now, and the snacks, and get the rest later. Ha! Little did he know, we would need the baby bag very soon! I can’t remember why, but I made my way up the slope to wait at the elevator by myself while he sorted something out. And there was a very awkward moment where one contraction started to come, then the lift doors opened and some people got out and the contraction died down! We went in together and up to the suite of birth rooms. We were allocated the last private one available! It was also the only one which did not have a birth tub, but this didn’t phase me at all. The midwife greeted us, she lovingly felt my tummy and then said she would be back with everything in a moment, and would also go meet the doula. Later, after the birth, she told me that when she greeted me she thought Ronan had changed to posterior, I am so glad she didn’t tell me at that moment! He moved on his own later anyway. My husband left to get his bag, and I stood by a table in the large room and had a contraction by myself. 

Everyone returned, and then the midwife asked if I could come to the bed so she could check me and do fetal monitoring. While I lay down, the doula started putting the essential oils on, soft lighting and all the lovely things. By this time it was around 9.30pm. The midwife checked me, and told my husband my dilation. I had made it a rule that no one should tell me the cm, unless it was over 6cm. So, because they didn’t tell me, I made my own assumptions, but also by God’s grace, managed not to dwell on it. My husband typed a message to our close friends and family to let them know I was 4 to 5cm dilated…and so most friends and family went to bed, thinking there’ll be a baby by morning (mwahahaha). The midwife still wanted to feel what was happening during a contraction, but she took her fingers out and asked me to tell her when one was coming so that she didn’t sit there for ages with her fingers in my vagina just waiting. It seemed like contractions had stopped! So we all quietly waited, each one thinking to him/herself, oh boy, we’re in for a long night. And then all of a sudden, my water spontaneously broke! No contraction or anything. The midwife was so surprised. I asked if the water was clear, and she said yes. After this, she didn’t check me again and I was drawn to the toilet, where contractions were back, very intense, and close together…no slow ramping up again. When I was on the loo, the midwife quietly came to me and said that in the light she could see my waters were actually stained, so we would just keep an eye on things. I quietly said to my baby, “Come on, let’s do this.” And God helped me not to allow any fear or anxiety in around meconium-stained waters, due my previous birth where that was one of the four factors leading to c-section. I asked for my earphones and got my husband to put the Christian Hypnobirthing tracks on. So essential for me.

During my daughter’s birth, I really fought contractions and braced myself for each one. I was determined in this birth to allow them to come and embrace them when they did, actively letting go of the tension in my shoulders and elsewhere. The doula taught my husband how to apply gentle pressure on my knees during a contraction, and he did it a few times, but I told him to stop as it didn’t feel like something I needed. I started to vocalise quite a lot, with low and long breaths out. And then during one contraction I even flicked my hands out like you do when you don’t have anything to dry them with in a public bathroom. I did some ‘horse lips’ too. The shower was directly in front of me, and I asked to go to that. I prematurely got up and had to wait by the sink counter while the doula got the water to a nice temperature. The two contractions between the toilet and the shower were quite difficult to bear as I didn’t feel like I was in a good position, and was mentally prepared for “toilet to shower”.

But, once in the shower, on my knees (on a towel) and leaning over the ball with the water over my back, I felt much better! I was swaying and going forward between contractions, and very soon after getting in, maybe after 3 or 4 contractions, I felt a baring down and would go backwards during a contraction. My noises also naturally changed to a pushy kind of groan. I didn’t know this, but the doula then told my husband that we were going to have a baby soon! He was so surprised and rushed to the car to get everything else. It was so lovely that everyone remained quiet and when they wanted to communicate with each other, and make comments such as the one just mentioned, they did not let me hear it. I could remain focused and in my zone. 

Because of the sounds I was making, and the pushiness the midwife could sense I was feeling, she asked my husband to get me out of the shower. This was a horrible part! I whined and resisted and my husband part-dragged me out. I got onto the bed on all fours, and then lowered to my forearms where I had a few pushy contractions. This position wasn’t working so well, so the midwife suggested I change. I went onto my side, with one leg up. I was holding my poor husband’s wrist very tightly (ditched the birth combs by now) and making very funny faces while pushing with my body’s pushes (I couldn’t help it). It was at this point my husband kindly offered to get me a song I told him I had imagined pushing to (Valhalla Calling, by Miracle of Sound, a song he plays during his intense home-gym workouts). I said no as I could sense the baby was close, and I didn’t want any other sound. But I look back at that and realise that even in the months leading up to birth, imagining pushing to that song, it still contributed to the final pushing without the song playing.

The midwife was working with my perineum to prevent tearing, and I shouted out “Ow!” angrily at her, but she was doing a good job. The ring of fire was like an intense stinging sensation, and then there was SO much pressure. She asked if I wanted to feel his head, which was right there. I felt and said, “I have no idea what that is”. It was a wrinkly, squishy, weird feeling! And then I think the next contraction, his head was out. I knew about the slow turning and the bizarre wait for the rest of the body, but Ronan wasn’t having any of that. The midwife had tried to slow me down as she could see his hand by his face, but the rest of his body flew out and she passed him over to me at 11pm, 7.5hours after the first mild tightening.

It was an incredible feeling. I was saying thank you to Jesus while holding my slippery newborn and asking if he was OK. He was perfectly fine and healthy. I couldn’t believe it. From start to finish, it was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced and will cherish it forever. I couldn’t believe it at all. He latched quite easily and drank from me, an experience my daughter missed out on as she had to wait until after the c-section.

The midwife, and her assistant worked quite quickly to clamp the cord (all while I was holding Ronan), as they wanted to find where I was bleeding from. So the next part was quite difficult, she worked with me to get the placenta out, which was very uncomfortable, but it came and it was quite a relief. Then she had to stitch in two places, one being by an artery. The tears weren’t at the perineum though!  The stitching was not nice at all, but for most of it, I had my baby in my arms, and my husband next to me telling me how well I did. They finished fairly quickly and the bleed stopped. Kyle took Ronan for some skin to skin and a nappy while I lay for a little. He still hadn’t had any of his planned snacks - haha! 

The doula helped me have a shower, while Ronan and my husband dozed in bed, and then we had a group photo and the midwife and doula left. It was quite funny that my doula’s husband was going to do a marathon the next day, so they had arranged for their daughter to go to a friend’s house very early the next morning as my doula assumed she’d be with me. But she could go home, and her daughter stayed peacefully asleep while her husband left for his marathon! 

It was wonderful to be together, just the 3 of us, after that. And then I called my sister, who happened to answer because she needed the loo in the middle of the night. It was special to have that call, as she was and is such a rock, and a VBAC inspiration. She had experienced a miscarriage in my 6th month of pregnancy, and it was at this time that two other friends experienced difficulties in pregnancy. I started to feel selfish for praying for my VBAC, while my sister experienced such pain in the loss of a baby. But she was steadfast in her support and desire for me to also experience a VBAC. So, that call was very special. 

We went to “sleep” after that. My husband and baby slept, but I couldn’t sleep! I was still on a high and in awe of what just happened! I am so grateful to God for it all. Ronan was 55cm, and 3.22kg. He’s now 10 months old, and is the sweetest little boy. 

Christian Hypnobirthing was instrumental in my birth, I am so grateful for it and recommend it to as many people as I can!

Mama: @roxannelloyd647

Doula/Photos: Tamryn Schmail