A Joyful and Peaceful 3rd Homebirth

Isabel's Birth Story: Baby Joshua born on his due date!

During this pregnancy I had so many faith-filled reminders as I read Tara Menzies’ book: Faith-Filled Childbirth. I also had a guided prayer session with Helena Whitwell where I visualised my ideal homebirth. I felt prepared and fully trusted my body, and that God was in it all with me.

I woke up at 1:14am on 4 July (my due date) with gentle period-like cramps, which came every 10 minutes. This was exactly how labour started with my previous two babies so I stayed in bed and breathed through them. Not painful, just nice wave-like sensations. I realised I could also feel my waters leaking out of me when I lay down.

Around 4am the surges started to peter out, which had happened with my second baby, so I didn’t worry but just went back to sleep for a couple of hours, knowing that if the baby was coming that day I would need to be as rested as possible.

I woke up again around 6:15 and told my husband I thought the baby might be coming today. The morning is a bit of a blur but things were happening very irregularly - sometimes longer than an hour was going by between contractions. Nonetheless, we got the tens machine on, I tried to rest as much as possible, and my husband blew up the birth pool. This was a strange morning, partly a bit frustrating and anti-climactic, and partly a bit boring! I remember sitting on a birth ball beside my bed, reading a book, wondering what was happening and how labour would unfold.

At 10:15 I phoned triage to say I thought early labour had started, as I wanted to be on the midwives’ radar. I had hoped the on-call homebirth midwife might get in touch but the triage midwife wasn’t convinced my waters had broken and said just to keep monitoring.

At this point the surges were lasting about 30 seconds and coming every 30 minutes, and were getting more intense but still manageable. I was getting some sensations I didn’t recognise at the same time, like after a surge ended I would sometimes get a fairly intense period-like pain in my lower abdomen, and also I was getting a sharper pain in my cervix (I think?), and wondered if that was the baby’s head nudging down. I also had quite a lot of blood-streaked mucus whenever I went to the toilet.

I was a bit bemused by the irregularity of the contractions despite these other signs of things happening. The contractions started getting stronger and I found it good to stand and sway through them, and had to fully focus on them. By 11:30 the surges were coming every 15 minutes and were getting quite intense and lasting around a minute. I felt like I was entering ‘labour land’ but I started feeling a bit emotionally wobbly around this time, as I knew the surges weren’t coming nearly close enough together to indicate established labour, but they were getting really quite intense. If the midwives had been there I would have asked to try gas and air at this point in an attempt to take the edge off. I also had the worry that if things were feeling as intense as this but I wasn’t yet in active labour, how much longer would it all go on for and how would I cope when labour was properly established.

I remember the thought of an epidural flitting into my head at this point! I asked my husband to start filling the birth pool as I thought perhaps warm water might help.

At 12:20 the surges started coming much more frequently, and were 4-5 minutes apart. I phoned triage again at 12:37 and asked if a midwife could come out to see me. I was asked if I was getting 2-3 contractions in 10 minutes and said it was more like 2 than 3, but that my previous labours had been quick. She advised against getting into the pool as it can cause labour to stall if contractions aren’t fully established. I decided I would firmly ignore this advice.

After ending the phone call the surges started coming thick and fast, sometimes with only a minute between them, and sometimes feeling like they hardly let up at all before another one started. I then began to feel the beginnings of the pushing phase, and began to vocalise during contractions. I realised now that the baby was probably coming pretty soon!

And from this point things went from anxiously uncertain to pretty exciting, and I felt calmer and more in control as I knew now that the baby was definitely on the way.

I told my husband that we would probably be delivering the baby ourselves and he snapped into super calm mode.

I was desperate to get into the pool at this point, and just as it was finishing being filled I had a strong pushy contraction, felt a familiar sensation and reached down to feel the top of my baby’s head between my legs!

I got into the pool and with another contraction his whole head came out.

I sat there, in the water, me and my husband gazing down at our baby’s head, just sitting there and excitedly awaiting the next contraction. At this point it was 1:14pm, 12 hours to the minute since I’d felt the first twinge during the night.

I felt elation at this point, as I knew the hardest part was behind me, and soon I’d have my new baby in my arms.

With one more contraction the baby slithered out up to his waist (I’ve always enjoyed that last one - no pain, just a slippery whoosh), then I reached down and gently pulled him out.

The cord was wrapped around his neck so I unlooped it and discovered we had a little boy. What a joyful moment!

My four year old and two year old had been in the next room with their granny, so we took a quick photo then David rushed to get them all in. This was a lovely undisturbed family moment, with me and the baby basking in the pool, and the family all around. 2 year old Aria said ‘I wish he was a girl’ haha!

I tried to phone triage again to say the baby had been born, but was on hold for ages so hung up. I tried again but still on hold! Eventually I phoned the community midwives’ landline to tell them I’d had a baby. They were very surprised and advised me to get out of the pool, so we got into bed to await the midwives. The first midwife arrived about 30 minutes after, and the second (who had been at my first daughter’s birth) not long after that. The midwives were there for a couple of hours doing all their checks and I needed a couple of stitches for a small second degree tear, but eventually we were all tucked up in bed.

I had really hoped for no tearing, but despite the tiny tear, the birth felt so smooth and there was no bleeding at the time, just a little bit a few minutes after Joshua was born. The midwives said it was the cleanest pool they’d ever seen and they wouldn’t have believed anyone had given birth in it! Thankfully the stitches could be done by one of the attending midwives and two days on are causing basically no pain, unlike the sutures from two previous births which made recovery quite challenging with all the sitting and feeding.

I am so glad the way the birth itself happened; it was very special to deliver the baby myself with just my husband there. I felt held by God through it all and knew that he was with me, even if the midwives weren’t! 

But nonetheless I had wanted some more support in the first stage of labour, and don’t know how I could have convinced triage I needed someone out sooner, when my contractions weren’t at the appropriate intervals. With every labour I and my care providers have assumed I am not as far along as I really am, so I always knew it might be a possibility that I’d have a baby on my own. Three times now the hospital porter has dutifully delivery gas and air to the house, which has sat in the hallway unable to be used as the midwives haven’t been there to administer it.

But on balance, with the benefit of hindsight, I am glad this baby was born in the way he was, and that I was able to labour and give birth totally undisturbed, apart from the frustrating phone calls (perhaps next time I wouldn’t phone at all?!). If I were to give birth again, I would probably just remind myself that if things are intense, then things really are happening, even if I’m not following a textbook pattern of labour.

I am so grateful to God for all He has done, and for keeping us safe and protected in his awesome design.

'But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord'

Joshua 24:15