✨ From homebirth dreams to a UK hospital room — and still the most beautiful, redemptive day of my life.

When I pictured birth, I imagined the dreamy stories I’d read and the beautifully filmed birth videos I’d watched online — fairy lights twinkling, a calm pool at home, soft voices, and perhaps even a photographer capturing every sacred moment.

Here in the UK, that kind of setup isn’t really the “done thing,” but I still longed for it. I had everything prepared: the pool, the affirmations pinned to the wall, the music playlist, the fairy lights, and more towels than I thought I’d ever need. For me, it wasn’t about medals or proving anything — it was about trusting my body, leaning on God, and experiencing what birth could look like in its most natural form.

But Raffi’s birth? It didn’t go to plan at all. And honestly, I can now say with all my heart — I’m so glad. 💛

A Complicated Pregnancy

Pregnancy itself wasn’t easy. Around 30 weeks, I was diagnosed with gallstones, which left me in excruciating pain and in and out of hospital. The consultants and midwives who cared for me were wonderful, but the pain was relentless. The word “induction” began hovering over me, and by the time I reached 41 weeks, I knew I couldn’t carry on much longer.

Walking into hospital that morning felt surreal. It wasn’t the home birth I had envisioned, but I was at peace. I wanted my baby in my arms more than anything else.

By 9am, my waters were broken. By 11am, I was 6cm dilated. I remember bouncing on the ball, my Christian Hypnobirthing app softly playing in the background, scriptures washing over me, and my husband’s hand in mine. It wasn’t the dreamy homebirth I’d set up, but God’s presence filled that hospital room just as powerfully.

When the conversation about starting the oxytocin drip came up, I begged for a little more time. I prayed. I breathed. I listened. And God answered.

Suddenly Everything Changed

In what felt like a heartbeat, everything shifted. Two massive contractions surged through me, and I felt Raffi descend. In just half an hour, I’d gone from 6cm to 10cm. Labour was in full swing.

And here’s where things took a turn I never expected. This wasn’t a serene water birth. I wasn’t quietly breathing my baby into the world with soft music and candlelight. Instead, I was on my back, in stirrups, surrounded by a team of midwives urgently telling me to push. It was loud, intense, and nothing like what I had planned.

But do you know what? It was still holy. It was still beautiful. 🌸

Because even in that chaos, peace was present. God was present. His Word, the prayers I had prayed for months, and His Spirit that never left my side carried me through.

The Most Beautiful Surprise

At one point, Raffi’s heart rate dropped, and suddenly the room filled with urgency. My midwife locked eyes with me, urging me to focus and give it everything I had. I have never dug so deep in my life. My husband watched in awe as Raffi’s head appeared.

One more push, and at 9lb 7oz, our son was here. 💫

He was placed on my chest immediately, and in that moment, time stopped. The world could have fallen away, and I wouldn’t have noticed. God’s faithfulness was wrapped up in the tiny body of my son, breathing against my chest.

His name is Raffi — from Rapha, meaning God has healed. And oh, how fitting that name is. After my husband’s cancer journey and the uncertainty of whether we would ever have children, here he was: our living, breathing miracle.

Redemptive, Not Perfect

Was it the candle-lit, water-birth-at-home story I had pictured? Not at all. Did I feel fully in control? Not really. But was it beautiful, redemptive, and soaked in God’s love?

Absolutely.

My encouragement to you: even if your birth doesn’t go the way you pictured, it can still be peaceful. It can still be holy. It can still be the most life-changing day of your life. 🙌

Birth isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence. God’s presence. And that is more than enough.

Mama: @jessieamygrace

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