Held by God: Marigold’s Peaceful Home Birth Story

We prayed and planned and dreamed of having a fourth baby ever since we had such a beautiful birth and postpartum with our third. I had an unmedicated hospital birth with her. It had changed my perspective on birth and my own body’s design.

My pregnancy with Marigold was a challenge for our family. My first trimester this time around was very difficult. I had severe morning sickness that caused me to need a good bit of extra support. I struggled to stay hydrated and I lost weight. I was so blessed to have friends and family to bring meals, help watch the kids, and even clean our home during that season. I felt God providing and loving us through His children.

That became a lesson I got to learn through her pregnancy and birth. God holds us and gives us glimpses of His love for us daily. We are so often distracted or fail to notice. The Lord forced me to slow down during my pregnancy and see many things He intentionally placed in my life.

As I got closer to the end of my pregnancy and planned for my home birth, I tried to cultivate this lesson. I made my birth space as peaceful and beautiful as I could—filling it with scriptures, art, and music.

“Like a shepherd He will tend His flock,

In His arm He will gather the lambs

And carry them in His bosom;

He will gently lead the nursing ewes.” Isaiah 40:11

I knew He would hold me through my birth just as He had through my pregnancy. As a mother, I wanted to echo that love in the way I loved my baby. I wanted to hold my baby, wrapping them in a safe, unconditional love.

The last few days of my pregnancy I cleaned my house and cooked a few more freezer meals. I was so ready for labor to begin. On Saturday, the day before Easter, I had an urge to clean everything and have the house all ready. We put the kids to bed early that night, and then my emotions came. I had a good cry and talked through the hormones and anxieties of motherhood. “Could I be a good mother to four kids?” Jordan listened and held me. I had to work through those emotions and came out the other side feeling at peace and ready to trust God during our next stage of parenthood.

That night I had crazy dreams and woke up several times with contractions. I had a few rounds of prodromal labor the week before, so I was not convinced this was the real thing. But at 4:00 a.m. I got up and realized these surges were stronger and more frequent. I woke up Jordan and called my midwife, my doula, and my mom. Our older kids went over to my parents’ house next door. The house was still and quiet. I got in the shower. My contractions were about 3 minutes apart and strong. I wanted to get my mindset right. I prayed in the shower and asked God to hold me and be with me. The tears came and I was just so excited to finally be in labor. Soon after my shower, Toni came and started bringing in supplies and setting up.

Jordan and I slow danced to my birth playlist, which were mainly songs of prayers for my baby and hymns. If you know me well, you know my love for Fred Rogers, so there were also some songs from Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood: “It’s You I Like,” “Tree Tree Tree,” “There Are Many Ways to Say I Love You,” and “Taking Good Care of You.” I wanted to welcome our baby with words of love—into a family that would cherish them and protect them because God made them and loves them.

My doula, Lauren Paige, helped me find some positions that encouraged baby to move into a good position. It was so nice to have her thinking through that and sharing that mental load. She did hip squeezes and back massage during most of my labor. That helped so much. It allowed me to relax more, and it diffused the intensity of the contractions.

Through my surges I moved through sitting on the midwifery stool,

squatting, all-fours, sitting on the toilet, standing in the shower… I talked to my baby a lot, telling them I was ready to hold them and nurse them. I sang with the hymns occasionally, praying within my heart and aloud. It was such a peaceful time.

I needed Jordan close. Every time I had a big surge, I would grab onto him, and it felt like I was sharing the energy of the contraction. He kept me grounded. He was my natural Pitocin and my natural pain reliever. His kisses and closeness kept my oxytocin going and my endorphins flowing.

The midwives respected that peace. Toni, my midwife, checked the baby’s heart rate intermittently but was thoughtful not to interrupt the flow of my labor. She would sit on the floor or however she needed to reach my belly, wherever I was in the moment. No rushing or pushing for me to lie down or stay in bed. The midwife team of four checked my vitals and the baby’s in sync with the surges and space I was in. After a couple of hours, I started to feel tired and wanted to rest. I lay on my side and turned on my guided meditation tracks from Christian Hypnobirthing. These had scriptures and affirmations like: “I trust God’s plan for my birth… I give my birth over to my Heavenly Father… I welcome increasing downward sensations that will bring my baby soon.” This helped me relax and rest well. It was a sweet time to pray and meditate on God’s hand holding us. I knew He was holding us, and I felt deep joy and gratitude.

After my rest I ate some eggs for fuel and drank my homemade electrolyte and minerals drink. Ready to lean into my surges and see baby. My body was showing us signs that I was fully dilated. But baby was not in quite the right position yet. I started to feel more impatient. I was in transition but not as panicked as I thought I would be in transition. Whenever my breathing got fast, Toni would take a slow, deep breath. I copied her and matched her pace and tone with my vocalizations. She guided me and showed me how to relax without even talking.

I asked Toni to check my water bag. It was tight, so I requested she break it. We all knew baby would come quickly after that. My hips and legs started to cramp up as I tried to lie on my back for her to break my water. The team worked together to massage my legs and hips with magnesium lotion. It felt like we were all working together to get the baby out. It felt like they were literally holding me.

I rolled over onto my hands and knees. I started pushing. I felt her head coming down and my body opening. It was amazing. It felt like every part of me was doing exactly what it was supposed to. I knew I was about to see my baby and hold her. Toni caught her and placed her on the bed. I sat back and immediately picked her up. I placed her on my chest and saw that it was a girl. It was our Marigold. I cried and held her tight. She cried right away and pinked up well. I lay down in my bed and Jordan lay beside me. We just cried and showered her with kisses and love. We cuddled as she nursed. It was truly the most amazing feeling. The Lord brought her safely to my arms and to my heart. It was such a peaceful and worshipful birth. We rejoiced for new life and the faithfulness of God.

Home birth and the midwifery model of care is a beautiful way to support families as they bring a new baby into the world. My midwife team fed me, cleaned my bathroom, did laundry, and nurtured me after. I’m loving the peacefulness of how postpartum can be after home birth. I feel like as my midwife poured into me and nurtured me, the better I can nurture my baby. It all comes so much easier when I had such thoughtful care meeting my needs.

Mama: @mrs_abchamblee

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