Overcoming Fear - the Wonderful Birth Story of Baby Jude!
When I was 20 weeks pregnant my husband, Kyle, found out he would be leaving for Army Basic Training 4 weeks before my due date. The day we found out, I went for a walk with God and cried out to Him. How will I ever do this without Kyle, Lord? He’s my rock, my best friend, the one who holds me together. This wasn’t my first time giving birth and both of my other births were fast. The last time I barely made it to the hospital. It was a frightening, extremely painful, and intense experience. I reminded God that there was no way I could’ve gotten through it without Kyle.
“Plan for a home birth.” God told me. The idea had always appealed to me. I always loved watching the beautiful, natural, raw home birth videos. But no way did I think I would ever actually be brave enough to have one. But I finished my walk and went inside and told Kyle, “I think we should plan for a home birth.” He immediately supported me.
The enemy was on me from then on attempting to put a spirit of fear within me. But I fought it. God put the book of Isaiah on my heart and I began studying it. Isaiah 41:10 really stuck out to me: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.“ Anytime I heard the enemy whispering lies I would repeat this verse in my mind.
When I was 35 weeks and tested positive for Covid-19: “Fear not for I am with you.” When I was 36 weeks and found out I was GBS positive: “Fear not for I am with you.” When my husband left for basic training and I was facing the reality that it would be months before I held him in my arms again: “Fear not for I am with you.” When I was 5 days past my due date (both my other boys had come spontaneously at 39 weeks): “Fear not, for I am with you.”
God sent me other angels to give me courage and prepare me for a peaceful, calm birth as well. I discovered Kingdom Childbirth Class, a natural childbirth course taught By Kierra Blaser that focuses on God’s heart for childbirth. I also found Christian Hypnobirthing and fell asleep listening to the tracks every night from 30 weeks on. There was one was part of Prayer track that really resonated with me. It talks about how Jesus gave us the authority to rebuke anything that is not His will. I had never fully grasped that before and I had certainly never applied it to childbirth. I prayed over that promise quite a bit leading up to the birth.
At 1 am on a Saturday night, five days after my due date, I woke up after having a dream that I was having a contraction. I stood up and felt a little wetness in my shorts. My heart started racing. I went downstairs and woke up my mom (we are living with them while my husband is in basic training). I told her, “I think my water broke but I’m not sure.” She jumped out of bed and immediately started setting up the birthing tub (she knew how fast my previous labors had been).
I was walking around feeling strange. I wasn’t sure if I was having contractions or not and no more water had leaked so I was just confused about what to do. I started praying that I would know what to do and God would help me know when it was time. At 2 am I called my midwife and doula and told them what was going on and they both said they would head over. A few minutes later I started having pretty strong contractions that were less than 5 minutes a part. I decided to lay down and listen to my Christian Hypnobirthing tracks.
Immediately I was calm, relaxed, and at peace. The contractions were still coming, I could feel them washing over my entire body, but I was so relaxed and I could feel God’s love surrounding me. Around that time my midwife’s apprentice and my doula got there and my mom told me the tub was filled and ready. I got in and wow did that water feel amazing! My contractions were so manageable and it was just crazy how strong God’s presence showed up.
One of the affirmations on the Christian Hypnobirthing app says, “I rebuke all unGodly fear and pain in the name of Jesus.” I started repeating this in my head every time I would feel a contraction coming on. I would also welcome the contraction and thank God for the contraction.
I was leaning over the edge of the pool when my contractions started coming really fast. I started telling myself, “I’m going to see my baby soon. I’m going to see my baby soon.” More contractions came one right after another and suddenly I heard myself say out loud, “I can’t do this anymore!”
My midwife spoke calmly to me, “Why don’t you reach in your vagina and see if you feel anything.” I did so and felt something hard. “I feel his head!” I called out. Immediately my body responded and began pushing. I kept my hand covering my vagina and felt my baby’s head begin to crown. I started panting and rested for a moment.
As another contraction started back up, I pushed again and felt his head pop out. I kept pushing and the rest of his little body came sliding out. I reached down and pulled him out of the water and up to my chest. I couldn’t believe it. I had done it. It was over already. He was born at 3:24 am.
I’m so thankful for such a good Father who loves to bless His children. I’m so thankful for His Word that is a lamp to my feet and light to my path. And I’m so thankful for His promises that bring such great everlasting joy!
By Patti Domanski