A UK Home Birth Story of Twists, Turns... and Trust.

Angela's Birth Story

I had my first child 20 months earlier in Switzerland and had a fine experience overall, but it left me disappointed with how some things went, mainly when it came to pushing.

I was asked to push on my back, even though I really didn’t want to. I was coached to hold my breath when I pushed, tuck my chin down, and push 3 times for every contraction. I often didn’t feel the urge to push 3 times and I knew that holding my breath was not best for my pelvic floor. But I was told that I had one hour once pushing started or else they’d discuss a c-section, so I ended up doing what they said- pushing beyond what felt natural- to avoid a potential c-section.

Our daughter was born healthy within that time limit, but I had some pelvic floor injuries to recover from afterwards. I also had a lot to process emotionally, even though on paper everything went smoothly. I just felt overwhelmed and out of control of my body and then not listened to, on top of that. 

When I became pregnant again, we had moved to England and I wanted to be more prepared for birth this time and for advocating for myself.

Though I didn’t know the maternity system here, I was constantly coaching my husband on how to defend me in a hospital setting. Christian Hypnobirthing was recommended to me at some point and after looking into it, I thought it sounded perfect to help me mentally prepare for birth.

Labor and birth are such mental games, I now knew!

We were still planning on a hospital birth, but as the third trimester began, we became more interested in home birth and started asking my midwife some questions. We knew it was a normal option within the UK maternity system. After talking with her, both of us felt it was a good option and started to get excited about it, so we officially switched and started planning for a home birth.

I was listening to the tracks on the Christian Hypnobirthing app more regularly and practicing my breathing. I was also taking the online Christian Hypnobirthing Course and paying special attention to the information on pelvic floor health.

Fast forward to June, 9 days before my due date. My parents arrived from the States to help with all things surrounding the birth. I had been having bad back pain for the previous two weeks and just broke down and cried when they arrived. I was so tired of being in pain and I think I just felt I could relax more because extra help had arrived.

The next morning, 8 days before my due date, around 4am I woke up to some contractions. I stayed in bed and just tried to ignore them, practicing my slow breathing. My husband got up around 6am with our toddler and went downstairs.

I got in the shower shortly after and let the warm water flow over my back, breathing through contractions. With my daughter, I had contractions on and off for 2 days before things really picked up, so I was mentally prepared for the long haul, but hoping for faster this time.

Around 7 my husband popped back in to find me leaning over the edge of our bed, breathing through contractions. He asked if something was happening and I said I’d been having contractions for a few hours, but didn’t know if it was going anywhere.

We decided that I should start timing them and we’d call the midwife around 8 if things continued or picked up. My husband brought me my birth ball and an electrolyte drink at this point. My mom brought me some oatmeal and I made myself eat some of it because I knew I needed the energy.

8am came and went and things were petering a bit, so we waited. Around 9, I was feeling tired, so I decided to lay down and try to nap. I was able to rest a little, but contractions were still coming and it was uncomfortable lying down, so after 30 or 45 min, I decided to get back in the shower to relax and see what my contractions would do. 

In the shower, they became more consistent. The water felt so good and I really tried to relax into the contractions as I breathed and swayed through them. I got back out when I was feeling too hot in the shower and knelt down and leaned on the ball. My husband came to check on me and we decided to call the midwives, even though I felt I was still in early labor. It was 10:30am and my contractions were close to 4 min apart. I started listening to the Encouraging Scriptures track on the app.

The first midwife arrived around 11:30am and asked if I would like to be checked. I was still able to relax and talk to people in between contractions (not the case in my first labor with back-to-back contractions after they broke my water), so I told her I thought I was still in early labor, but would like to know how dilated I was. 

She checked me and said that I was either 7 or 8 cm dilated. I was so pleasantly surprised! She immediately called for a second midwife to come and went out to her car to get her emergency birth kit in case they didn’t arrive in time. I happily got back on my knees and continued my rhythm- forgetting about timing my contractions anymore because I knew I was in the final stretch. 

At this point, I was breathing slowly through contractions while my husband squeezed my hips with his knees and put pressure on my lower back with his hands.

Then in between contractions, I would just relax on the ball and he would place a hot water bottle on my lower back. During both labors, I seemed to have more pain low on my back during contractions. 

The second midwife arrived and I could hear my parents putting our almost 20 month old daughter down for her nap in the bedroom next door. I continued my rhythm and tried to relax into the contractions as much as possible. Soon, I started feeling pressure and the urge to push slightly with some contractions and I noticed the midwives quietly slipped behind me to better observe.

My body started to have me push as I was exhaling, so I just followed my body’s cues. It was so interesting to me because, unlike last time where I was coached to push 3 times for every contraction, this time each contraction was unique. Some required two pushes, some one long push, some were mild and had no pushing.

It was amazing to see my body guide me through the process and give me breaks when I needed breaks and have me really go for it other times. 

At one point, I felt something pop out and I felt relief. Then they told me that that was part of my water bag. It hadn’t broken yet! It started leaking and soon after, with hard work, the baby’s head was born.

The midwives asked me to give an extra big push on the next contraction and then I heard one of them on the radio calling for an ambulance because of an obstetric emergency, a shoulder dystocia (meaning one or both of the baby's shoulders was/were stuck).

I remember hearing this and deciding that I was going to stay calm, focused, and keep doing my thing, so I did.

I kept calmly breathing and following my body's cues.

They had me flip from my knees onto my back- no easy task with a baby’s head already born- and started to have me lift up my knees towards my chest- getting ready for a maneuver used with shoulder dystocias.

But, it turns out that just the act of changing positions was enough to dislodge the shoulder and our baby slipped out on the next contraction at 1:31pm- 6 minutes after the head was born!

My husband took a look and we discovered it was another girl- Lucy Marguerite!

She cried immediately, so we knew she was fine. 

The ambulance got called off and we enjoyed the golden hour, resting and admiring all her little features. When our other daughter woke from her nap, she came in and met Lucy while being held by “Dada” and munching on a snack. Not a bad introduction!

After my placenta came, the midwives checked me over and decided I needed to transfer to the hospital for some stitches, but since it wasn't an emergency it was a happy ride in the ambulance with everyone we met congratulating us. We were there a few hours and then back home resting that night.

Looking back, I noticed several sweet gifts from God on that day - some things I had prayed for and some things I had merely hoped for but had not been bold enough to pray and ask for directly.

But, God knew and He was gracious to us.

One thing He gave me was a shorter labor than my first (2.5 days of on and off contractions vs 9 hours). I also wanted my parents to be the ones to watch our older daughter during everything, which is hard to plan when they live in the US and we live in the UK. They arrived just the day before Lucy was born!

Lastly, my husband and I wanted a full night of sleep this time instead of laboring all night. Since contractions started around 4am and I didn’t tell my husband right away, he slept all night and I got most of a good night’s rest. 

God was so kind to us. And we feel grateful to God for our little family.