When I was 30 weeks pregnant two things happened to me: I found out my baby girl was breech and I was accepted by midwives (yay!). So when I had my next appointment with my obstetrician I thanked her for everything and informed her I was going to start seeing midwives because they approach birth in the way I do, and I had been waiting to be accepted since 4 weeks pregnant.
My obstetrician said I could die having a home birth, that I didn’t know if my baby would turn, that I’d have a c-section and she said I was making a life and death decision - it was one hour of her planting a lot of fear on me. This was my first pregnancy and I cried for weeks fearing my baby wouldn’t turn, that things would go wrong with my pregnancy and I really struggled to think positively... I was at a really low point and that’s when I downloaded Christian Hypnobirthing - I wouldn’t have the energy to pray so I’d listen to it while walking with my dog and doing spinning babies exercises.
The weeks went by, I absolutely loved my midwives right off the bat but my precious baby didn’t want to turn. Me and my husband tried absolutely everything (from spinning babies to chiropractor, acupuncture - everything!!) and as the weeks passed she remained in the same position (complete breech). When I hit 37 weeks the midwives recommended me to try an ECV (external cephalic version) and that was extremely traumatic - unfortunately we again had a really bad experience with obstetricians and they not only hurt me a lot but already came in the room saying I should schedule a csection. My daughter wasn’t moving the next day and I had to go to the hospital again for my baby to be monitored. I couldn’t get out of bed without being in excruciating pain for days.
I want to pause here and say I have nothing against women that schedule csections and I’m thankful we have cesarians because they save lives!! But since I was a child I was absolutely fearful of cesarians, I would watch the soap operas in Brazil of women giving birth via cesarian and it would terrify me and I’d say i would never have kids and I felt like all that fear came back full speed. I was crying every day and every night and would wake up shaking from fear of giving birth to my daughter, of something happening to her and of her not turning.
After an unsuccessful and traumatic ECV me and my husband were both exhausted - we hit a wall. Maybe she won’t turn and Lord, we’re tired of fighting it so may YOUR will be done, not ours. We decided to stop everything we were doing for her to flip and instead spend all that time being in the Word together. We prayed, we asked the Lord for mercy. We let go, trusted and rested in Him.
I would listen to Christian Hypnobirthing multiple times a day and repeat the Bible verses many times so I’d feed my soul and heart with truth and not let the enemy make me believe lies. 38 weeks came and at this point I was doing weekly ultrasounds always checking my baby’s position, weight, size and my midwives were sharing my care with an obstetrician that was a specialist in delivering breech babies. At this point I also met a Christian friend the Lord sent into my life that had delivered a breech baby vaginally (the only one I knew!!) and that was the purpose for me to connect with her, she became a huge encouragement to me - the Lord was saying it would be fine, I just needed to trust Him.
When I had shifted from fear, to believing in the Lord and looking forward to meeting my sweet baby, everything changed. I was finally able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and focus on meeting her soon. I was praying the Lord would make the decisions for us, that things would just happen and that it would be the Holy Spirit giving birth to my daughter through me, not me, but Christ in me.
When I was 39.5 weeks I had really light contractions at around 4am but went back to bed. I had my normal morning routine, went to the supermarket - I had no clue I was going to meet my daughter that night. When I came back from the supermarket I had one stronger contraction and asked my husband to come home. When he came home we just relaxed together and decided to start timing the contractions - we both took a nap while listening to Christian Hypnobirthing and when I woke up from our nap the contractions started coming more and more frequently.
Within a few hours I went from contracting every 6 min to every 2min and the midwives asked us to go straight to the hospital and that they’d meet us there. When I got to the hospital I was 9cm dilated! I was coping so well! My husband was massaging me during the contractions and that would relieve the pressure almost completely!! I was on my hands and knees the entire time and that’s how I delivered my daughter - that was the only position I felt comfortable in.
They called the obstetrician that delivers breech babies and I started pushing the moment she arrived - she was sent by the Lord. After less than an hour our baby girl was in our arms - she was safely and vaginally delivered by the Holy Spirit that lives within me. I had no pain pushing her - it actually felt good! No tearing, I was moaning so loud, my husband was massaging me, the medical staff were cheering with me counting from 10 to 0 to help me push, the midwives we’re giving me ice to chew and rubbing my back, all the people praying for me during pregnancy and while I was in labour were with me too - I didn’t bring my daughter to this world alone. I couldn’t have done it alone!!
The Holy Spirit that lives in me, together with the obstetrician, the midwives and most important my husband helped me bring her to the world and I’ll forever be thankful for being able to share this testimony of God's goodness, faithfulness and love. The message I want to share with my daughter’s birth story is that no matter the circumstances: trust the Lord. Trust fully! He always wants the best for us, He doesn’t want to harm you, He doesn’t want you to fear, He just wants you to trust in Him! Let go, trust and rest in Him. NOTHING is impossible for Him!
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
By
Raissa Clark
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You have no idea how much I needed to read every single word. Your words Led me into a deep and authentic prayer. Our baby is too breeched and I’ve been worrying Although my midwife isn’t. Thank you so much for writing this and detailing how good God actually is.